Jewelerexia returns – SAG Awards stands for Screen Actors Gemless

Once again, I am offering to help accessorize the poor unadorned of Hollywood as, once again, the red carpet has been walked by a succession of actresses wearing absolutely no jewellery to speak of.

Is there a jewellery famine in Hollywood to go along with the obsessive desire to stay a size 0? I’ve never heard that jewellery makes you look heavier. Maybe it’s just all too confusing for today’s actresses to navigate (hence, see my opening sentence).

Witness Morena Baccarin below, who appears in Homeland. Yes, she is wearing what appear to be emerald drop earrings. But if ever an outfit really cried out for some ornamentation, you’re looking at it. Boo to jewelerexia.

Getty Images/Morena Baccarin arriving at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

Sad about SAG

The Screen Actors Guild Awards last night, popularly known as the SAG Awards, might have described my spirits watching the usual parade of A-Z list celebs sadly underadorned. Or maybe SAG just stands for Strenuously Avoiding Glitz.

If you had access to stylists, and jewellers happy to open their vaults and lend you something sparkly and gorgeous … wouldn’t you take advantage of that? I think celebs are so afraid of being called out on a worst dressed list, they opt for what they think is tasteful but is just plain and boring. In the rush to be considered elegant they are just bland.

But lest you despair totally, here’s a photo of  Sofia Vergara, of Modern Family, wearing just about the only glittery item larger than a pea that I could find. And the bling is real, dolls – courtesy of Lorraine Schwartz. Vergara gets extra points for the stunning matching cuff bracelet.